Buzzfeed- 18 photos of men crying that challenge gender norms (http://www.buzzfeed.com/lauragallant/18-photos-of-men-crying-that-challenge-gender-norms)

Now, more than ever, the floor is open to discussion on social equity. Whether it be #Blacklivesmatter, #Metoo, or #Loveislove, people are speaking up against the oppression that has suppressed the minority figures of the populous for so many years. These people have spoken up about their short comings society provides them, but as the topics are further explored, heads are being turned toward the current head of the table to listen, support, and analyze the struggles our society still holds. In the essays, “Roles of Men with Feminism and Feminist Theory” by Brian Klocke, with supporting evidence from Alison Jagger, an author, professor, and pioneer in introducing feminism to philosophy, “Teaching Men to Be Emotionally Honest,” by Andrew Reiner, a published author and writing and cultural studies professor at Towson University, and “Gender Differences in the Relationship Between Empathy and Forgiveness” by Loren Toussaint, professor of psychology at Luther College, and Jon R. Webb, professor of psychology at East Tennessee State University, the topic of men focused feminism, and the issues therein, to aid in feminist theory and equity, is thoroughly explored.  To accompany these factual based, or scholarly sources, on a similar topic, a TED Talk by Justin Baldoni, a series actor and often type casted as “manly” shares his opinion on “Why I’m done trying to be ‘man enough’.” These sources have catered toward the idea that in order to develop a greater societal gender equity, we must first build a more empathetic and humanist society that is aided by male-focused feminism. 

“Broken” Masculinity

 We were told since we were children that bullies derive from hidden insecurities. Bullying against differences, bullying against minorities, bullies taking their hidden insecurities and manifesting the accumulated shame into projected anger—especially in men. “Sexism negatively impacts men by forcing them into a hyper-masculinity which engages high-risk behavior and limits their emotional expression as full human beings. “ (Klocke, Nomas.org) To the women in the room, this is not an allowance for men to create these negative, stereotypical spaces, to the men, it is a call out. Sexism can also be a man suppressing another man. Understand that you are expected to withstand these hyper-masculine values. Your awareness is crucial to its antidote.

This high-risk behavior and limitation of emotional expression inhibits men from exploring their true feelings and allowing for a single outlet—anger. It takes teaching to counteract thousands of years of tradition to “Man-up”. “Despite the emergence of the metrosexual and an increase in stay-at-home dads, tough-guy stereotypes die hard. As men continue to fall behind women in college, while outpacing them four to one in the suicide rate, some colleges are waking up to the fact that men may need to be taught to think beyond their own stereotypes.” (Reiner 590) For it is men that feel the most, and society conditions them otherwise.

 In a National Institute of Healthy Study, study done by Toussaint and Webb, they found that “Many boys, especially early and middle adolescents, develop deep, meaningful friendships, easily rivaling girls in their emotional honesty and intimacy. But we socialize this vulnerability out of them” (Toussaint and Webb, Ncbi.gov).In so being, we must reteach what men so innately feel.  Similarly in Baldoni’s TED Talk, he goes on to say, “Another man holding him accountable to create a safe space for him to feel and the transformation was instant” (Baldoni, Ted.com). The men exploring these topics in their writing and speech are bringing awareness to this to create a solid foundation for support. This foundation will be the catalyst to support the women and other minorities suppressed. Love yourself to love another.

The Male Feminist

So why should men care? The human experience. Yes, it seems like a rather mundane supporter, but the empathy to another’s experience is to greater understand your own. The relationship of healthier emotional expression in men and greater empathy for other is seemingly irrelevant. However, Klocke and Baldoni continually explore the correlation. Klocke frequently addresses this topic in his short essay, “Although I believe that men can be pro-feminist and anti-sexist, I do not believe we can be feminists in the strictest sense of the word in today’s society. Men, in this patriarchal system, cannot remove themselves from their power and privilege in relation to women. To be a feminist one must be a member of the targeted group (i.e a woman) not only as a matter of classification but as having one’s directly-lived experience inform one’s theory and praxis “ (Klocke, Nomas.com). Use your greater heard voice and your newfound emotional expression to be the assisting and understanding voice to another. However, one must tread carefully as to not negate another’s experience and be correctly informed. Share feelings and understanding of existing human experience. Truly listen.

Accidental “Meninism”

The line is fine within the patriarchy, men’s activism cannot be the main focus, but rather the aid from which fuels to feminist liberty. This freedom from the success of the feminist theory will give men the social freedom and women the proper equity the human experience is entitled to. “The men’s movement should not be separate from the women’s movement but instead become a segment under the larger feminist movement. In this way men would not be taking center stage in yet another part of women’s lives allowing a slightly more subtle form of domination to continue” (Klocke, Nomas.com). Klocke makes a point to tell men not to silence the voices of those they are standing up for. Feminism is not their fight to win, but rather theirs to aid. Baldoni similarly states in an instance he experienced with his wife, “I would just cut her off mid-sentence and finish her thought for her. It’s awful. The worst part was I was completely unaware when I was doing it. Here I am, doing my part, trying to be a feminist, amplifying the voices of women around the world and yet at home, I am using my louder voice to silence the woman I love the most”(Baldoni, Ted.com).

So, let the women be the Rocky in their own stories. The authors of these texts were created to draw attention to a seemingly unending issue.  To find a possible resolution. Men, “Man-up” and listen to support the strong women in your lives. Do not let your bigger voice silence hers. Silence the voices that are not letting her truly speak.  Let women live in a world where they do not have to stand up and say #Metoo, just so that they seem believable. Teach the boys to have love for themselves and others and create the empathy they so innately craved in their youth. The human experience to care for yourself and others. Listen. Protect. Love.

Works Cited

Baldoni, Justin. “Why I’m done trying to be ‘man enough’.” Ted Talks, (www.ted.com/talks/justin_baldoni_why_i_m_done_trying_to_be_man_enough), 2017.

Klocke, Brian. “Roles of Men with Feminism and Feminist Theory.” National Organization for Men Against Sexism, (www.nomas.org/roles-of-men-with-feminism-and-feminist-theory/), 2013.

Reiner, Andrew. “Teaching Men to Be Emotionally Honest.” They Say/ I say, edited by Birkenstein, Cathy, Durst, Russel, Graff, Gerald, W.W. Norton & Company, pp. 589-595.

Toussaint, Loren and Webb, Jon R. “Gender Differences in the Relationship Between Empathy and Forgiveness.” The National Center for Biotechnology Information, (doi: 10.3200/SOCP.145.6.673-686), 2005, pp. 673-686.